Muses
by I Have Yet To Sleep
Summary: This story is about the things that were permanent but became temporary, the things that were temporary but became permanent, and all that was felt in between.
1. Lucky

Everyone strives to find love in one way or the other. Everyone wants to be a part of someone or something… and no one… no one wants to be alone. Whether it be real passionate mutual love, strictly one sided, or completely psychotic. We're all victims. This story is about a girl who wanted nothing to do with love, found it in the most unexpected way, lost it in the most cruel way, and then found it again in the most magical way.

It was April 4th and I was sitting in front of the computer waiting for my friend Bree to finish getting ready. Right now she's in her eye shadow phase and simply refuses to believe she has enough on her face.

"So what are you doing?" Bree says to me while she rummages through her make-up bag.

"Blah browsing people on Myspace"

This was one of my favorite past times. It was fun seeing all these people. Maybe make fun of a few pictures or find someone interesting I could get to know.

"Let me guess. Your browsing guys aren't you?" said Bree.

"No… girls too"

"Well I'm ready. Lets go." Bree was getting up to put on her shoes.

"Alright hold on. This last page."

Have you ever felt like you needed new people in your life? Well that's what I felt. I wanted to know someone new. I didn't know exactly who I would find by browsing on here but when I saw his picture I felt like I wanted to know him. As I clicked on his profile I found out he was into anime and J-Rock which were two things I was currently obsessed with.

"Who's that?" Bree asked grabbing her sun glasses.

"I don't know. Some guy. Look he likes j-rock! Maybe he could introduce me to some new bands."

"Well add him and lets go come on". She was getting impatient I could tell.

Add him she says. Lets go she says. Come on she says! Easy for her to say but why am I nervous? Maybe because I want him to accept me. I want him to think I'm worthy to be his friend even if it is just online. I closed my eyes and clicked the "add as a friend" button. There was a moment in my life where I wondered if that was the biggest mistake I ever made…


	2. Mail

As Bree and I were in the car on our way to Long Beach Town Center (we were going to go see The Ruins) I couldn't help but think if he had accepted my friend request already. What if my picture made me look stupid and he just denied me? Or what if he wasn't active for awhile and I had to wait forever. All these thoughts flooded in all at once but why? Why was it so important? I don't even know the guy. Maybe that was the answer. It was because I didn't know him that I had to know him.

"You getting out or what?" We had arrived at our destination. Bree was already outside the car waiting for me. I immediately headed to the Starbucks. I needed my coffee frap fix.

"So what's up with you freak?" Bree asked smiling curiously.

"What do you mean? Am I acting weird?

"Well a little more than usual yeah." She opened the door and I nearly floated across the room. I love the way Starbucks smells. I always thought the people who worked there were the luckiest people on earth.

"Haha it's nothing. Just can't wait to watch the movie. I hope it's gory. I'm talking pool of blood." I couldn't tell her that I was thinking about mysterious MySpace guy.

As the day went on and my coffee frap seemed to have evaporated into thin air I had forgotten all about him. The movie was okay for what it was I guess. The man eating plants made Bree and I die inside the theater. This is why I loved seeing movies with her. We laugh at the stupidest things no one else cares to notice.

"So what now sensei?" This was something Bree and I always said to each other when we were bored.

"Let's go to your house. I'm hungry haha." Pfft. Glutton.

We went back to my house and ate some Pupusas my mom had made. Yummm! Before Bree left to go home we watched a couple movies I had on demand. Nothing new. We never watch anything new at my house. I love laughing hysterically at our favorite movie scenes.

After she was gone I cleaned up, grabbed my laptop, and went into my room. I told myself I wouldn't be hasty in checking my MySpace. I told myself I would wait until tomorrow… yeah I tell myself a lot of things I don't do. I was nervous checking if I had any new friends and I did but none of them were him. Well fine! Who needs to be friends with him anyway? His loss… I guess.

The following morning was Laundry day and I was super busy. But I gotta do my chores you know, to learn responsibility and all that other useless blah blah. At least that's why I think my parents torture me. I just do it so they can shut up and let me go out. Once I was done with the laundry and giving Milo a bath (my super cute Siberian husky) and at last giving myself a bath I went online. I got on MSN for awhile. I was talking to a couple of my friends on there when I noticed I had mail. I checked it and it was from MySpace. Someone had accepted my friend request. I went from 0 to 60 in like 2 seconds. I went on MySpace to check who it was and it was him. Eeeeeks! Omg ummm okay what now? I mean I have to say something right? I friend requested him so it's only right that I make the first attempt to start a conversation. But what? I'm so stupid when I start convos. I end up sounding weird and I act like a complete dork. Maybe I'll just use common interests. Like what made me want to talk to him in the first place? Yeah okay… here goes everything:

_Hey. I'm Wendy. Thanks for the add._

Ugh so stupid. Everyone says that… Oh well.

_So I noticed you're into anime. Seen any good animes lately? I'm always looking for new things to watch. Oh and you listen to j-rock too? What bands do you like? Have you seen any of them play live? I actually saw Miyavi, Alice Nine, Girugamesh, and Kagrra when they came to LA for J-Rock Revolution. Well hope you're doing well and hope to hear back from you soon. Take care^^._

_-Wendy_

Well that looks okay to me, friendly and definitely not too crazy. I was happy with it. So happy with it actually that I didn't worry about if it was good enough later on. I always asked myself… If I had known what all this would lead to in the end… would I still have put so much thought and effort into it?


	3. Feelings

That day went by pretty smoothly. I had met up with Bree and we went mallin' haha. When I came back home later that day he had responded:

_Hi Wendy_

_I'm Roman. No I haven't really seen any new animes I've been really busy lately._

_I moved out from my guardian's house so yeah. I just got internet haha. I really like_

_Dir En Grey and I haven't seen any of the bands you've seen live, lucky. Keep in touch._

_-Roman_

I was so excited reading this. I thought of so many questions I could ask him. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything there was to know about Roman. I quickly replied:

_Haha so why did you move out? _

_Yeah I mostly went just to see Miyavi cause he's like the love of my life (:_

_-Wendy_

I wanted to keep it short. I didn't want to come off too eager but still interested. That night I slept with a smile on my face. I was thinking of what he would write next. Eagerly anticipating his email. I guess I really had something to look forward too.

The next morning I didn't go out. Sundays are such lazy days for me. I love being a bum in my own house. What beats lounging? I was practically on the computer all day. Watching anime, Asian dramas, msn, and MySpace. Roman had written back:

_Oh_ _I moved out cause my guardians wanted me to pay rent. So I was like_

"_I'll go pay rent someplace else". But yeah. So how did you find me? We don't really_

_live near each other lol_

_-Roman_

It's true. He didn't live near to me at all. It turns out Roman is from the ski resort state of Colorado. That didn't really bother me at the time. I just wanted to be friends with him and what does distance have to do with friendship… right? I didn't know how to respond to his last question. I didn't want to tell him I'm a creep that browses people online. So I thought of something extremely weird and dorky. Might make him think "wtf" or might make him smile. I replied:

_Hahaha cool! I still live with my parents but wow you're so young_

_living on your own. How did I find you? Well I have this theory that 144 _

_robotic aliens have been sent to earth to observe human intelligence and I thought_

_you might be one of them. Besides… you're really good looking (:_

Send!

*long silence*

Oh my god! What did I just say? "besides, you're really good looking" What on earth possessed me to say that? Now he's gonna think I'm hitting on him or something. Well maybe I am a little. I mean he is cute. Definitely my type… I like his lips. Wait no I just wanted to be friends remember? Maybe that was just a lie I told myself. If I didn't I'd be too nervous to even start a conversation. But I don't want to like him, do I? Colorado! He's in Colorado. But no matter how many times I kept saying that… it didn't stop my ever growing need to talk to him.

The following day he replied:

_Haha oh wow. You got me =p_

_ Do you have msn? Add me! _

_ -Roman_

After that we talked regularly on msn. I would say almost religiously. I learned so much about him. His name was Roman Allen Martinez. He was half Chinese and half Mexican. He never knew his father and his mother had long passed away. He's been pretty much on his own since he was 16 and I admired every bit of him. He told me how he had sisters but they were adopted and they all lived their own lives although they did talk from time to time. I didn't want to pester him about his mother or what she was like… I really didn't want to upset him and I knew that if he really really wanted to talk about it he would tell me. On the brighter side everything else we talked about was just random things that popped into our heads. I found out that when he said he liked Dir En Grey it was just an understatement. He would turn gay for Kyo at any second. I also discovered that even though we were both 18 I was 4 months older than him. It was scary how fast he became a part of my daily routine. I would be so eager to talk to him every night and when I was having trouble getting internet signal I'd sit in this little corner in my room just so I could talk to him. I liked thinking that he went on MSN just for me. I liked thinking that if he had to stand on top of his bed just to get internet… he would. I wanted to be as important to him as he was becoming for me.


	4. Confessions

In about 2 weeks Roman and I knew almost everything there was to know about each other. Not that there wasn't much to know, but we just talked that much. We became really good friends and we had already covered the basics of one another. I wanted to know more though. I really really wanted to hear his voice. I wondered if it was deep, smooth, or rusty. I was determined to hear it. We were chatting on MSN one night and even though I had a webcam, he didn't. I gave myself a rule that I wouldn't webcam with people who didn't have webcams because who knows what they're doing on the other side. But he had a microphone so that was good enough for me.

~MSN~ (He went by the name of Aki. That's what his friends called him. Haha weirdo. I never called him Aki though. I just really loved his real name.)

**Wendy: So hmmm…**

** Aki: hmmm..?**

** Wendy: what do you sound like anyway? I'm curious (:**

** Aki: haha. Well what do you think I sound like?**

** Wendy: Hahaha idk. You know… a normal, boring, unattractive voice.**

** Aki: lmao well here I'll call you**

_Aki is requesting audio call. Would you like to_ **accept** _or_ **decline**_?_

**Wendy: denied! Hahaha jk**

_You have accepted the call_

_Me: "ummm hello"_

_Roman: "haha heeeeey"_

_Me: *giggling* "Hahaha so yeaaahhh"_

_Roman: "omg so what do you think?"_

_Me: "Hahah you sound white"_

_Roman: "what the fuck. Omg no! How do I sound white? Omg you're weird."_

_Me: "Hahah what I can't help it you do. It's not a bad thing. I mean I like it"_

_Roman: "omg nuuuu Wendy it's baaad"_

_Me: "Hahaha you keep saying omg. Freak"_

_Roman: "man shut up. I know okay haha. Like omg"_

_Me: "Hahaha! So what do you think of my voice?_

_Roman: "you sound like a Mexican sex phone operator"_

_Me: "Hahaha wtf omg lame!" _

_Roman: "omg it's funny when you laugh. It's like HAHAHAHAH *squeak* HAHAHAHA!"_

_Me: "I don't SQUEAK! Hahaha you're mean and I hate you hmmph!"_

_Roman: "Hahaha"_

_Me: "well I gotta go. Imma be at my friend's house tonight. We go there every Saturday with la familia." _

_Roman: "will you be on later?"_

_Me: "I'll try my hardest haha. Bye roman..."_

_Roman: "haha bye."_

Right after I got off MSN I couldn't help but miss him. I really loved his voice. It wasn't too deep and it didn't sound girly either. It was nice and smooth and his laughter… was so soothing. I got on MSN again from my phone. I'm not supposed to do that because I don't have an internet or messaging plan, but that didn't stop me. I IMed him:

**Wendy: Ummm… I was just wondering. Do you ever wanna call me? Haha**

** Aki: haha yeah I do (:**

** Wendy: haha okay… 15622937181. Call me when ever. I promise I'll answer lol bye (:**

As soon as I had signed out again that's how soon he texted me with a smiley face. After that we texted 24/7. There wasn't a moment where I wasn't texting him. I texted him at school and told him how boring classes were. He texted me about what he was doing or how he was pigging out at Chipotle. After two weeks of this the phone bill came… my dad was pissed.

"$500 dollars in texting Wendy!" If my dad was a crayon, he'd be a scarlet.

That really didn't seem so bad considering how often Roman and I texted. Not to mention other friends of mine. Then again… I wasn't the one paying the bill.

"Sorry dad. I didn't think it would be that much." I thought it would be more!

"You only get 500 texts a month so use them wisely. Es mejor que no lo volveras hacer porque te voy a vergiar. Entendido?" That was Spanish for "You better not do this shit again or imma make you work the streets to pay me back!" Okay maybe it didn't mean that exactly but pretty close I would say.

"Yeah daddy. Won't happen again." Cue the adorable smile and situation neutralized.

But of course, who listens to their parents? I really did try to keep it to 500 texts, but it didn't work. When alas I had reached my texting limits I told myself "just one more won't hurt", only problem was I told myself that about 200 times a day. By the time the next bill came it was worse than the one before it. Surprisingly though my father didn't get so mad. I guess he took part of the blame himself for not getting a family text plan from the beginning. He decided his "little girl" was growing up and she was spending more time on her phone than anywhere else. I could have told him that, but daddies are slow learners. Anyways by the end of May I was unlimited.

Roman and I talked more than ever. He would call me every night at 9pm sharp (free minutes) and we would talk until I fell asleep, which was always at 11pm cause I had school early the next day but weekends was a different story. We knew that we dated other people because we would tell each other. Right after my dates I would call him and right after his dates he would call me. We would spend hours just talking about what was wrong with the person we went out with. One night he told me about how he made out with this girl he had went to the movies with and how she was shoving her tongue down his throat. Even though he told me she was the worst kisser ever and he absolutely wasn't going to have a second date with her I felt something horrid in the pit of my stomach. Kissing? Roman was kissing? Girls? I never kissed any of my dates, of course I wasn't about to tell him that. I'm not usually the jealous type, but I just wasn't expecting that. At that moment, I knew I liked him more than just friends. Maybe I liked him all along and I was using the word "friends" just so I could feel comfortable around him. I wanted to say "You can't kiss other girls! And you can't date other girls anymore either! You know what? If you so much as even breathe next to another girl I won't talk to you ever again!" Even I think that's a little exaggerating, but still who was I to demand anything like that of him. After all… I'm just his friend.

That next weekend I went out on a date with a really nice guy I've known forever. Eric was so sweet and he always made me laugh, but I was thinking about Roman the entire time. I wondered how it would be if it was Roman having dinner with me and not Eric. When I came back home I called him.

_"Hey what are you doing loser?"_

_ "Nothing really. How was your date?" He sounded a bit tired._

"_Actually I don't have anything bad to say about this one. He was really sweet and nice. He was able to pay for everything. Not that I let him but I like knowing that he was able to. You know, a man has got to be prepared. He tried to kiss me a couple times haha. I like that he's persistent."_

"_Oh. So did you? Did you kiss him?" His voice got a bit lower._

"_Haha no. I'm not a slut like you hahaha. I don't kiss on first dates silly. Maybe the second time around, who knows."_

"_Wendy, do me a favor? Don't talk to me about guys anymore." There was a long silence after he spoke._

"_Why not Roman?"_

"_Because I love you…"_

It's funny yet wonderful how quickly things change.


	5. Mine

After Roman confessed his true feelings for me I thought I would be ecstatic considering how I felt about him. I knew I liked him... but love? How could he love me? We've never even met. Was this the kind of person he was, someone who falls in love so easily? And if he fell in love so easily, was it the same when he fell out of love? I got off the phone with him and continued the conversation on MSN.

** Aki: So…..**

** Wendy: love? Are you sure? You don't even know me.**

**Aki: I do know you. We haven't officially met, but I feel close to you. We tell each other everything.**

**Wendy: I like you Roman. I do. But falling in love so easily! And we're so far away from each other.**

**Aki: Wendy I haven't felt this way in a long time. I dated woman. A lot of them and none of them have made me feel how you make me feel. I used to be so cold Wendy. I didn't really care about anything I just acted like I did. But you awakened something in me. I care about you. I can't help how I feel. If anything this is all your fault. I blame you completely. If you weren't so wonderful this would have never happened.**

**Wendy: Hahaha so smooth **

**Aki: I'm not asking you to love me back. I'm not asking you to be with me. Just let me love you… okay?**

**Wendy: sure thing boss (:**

Things changed little by little. We would text cute lovey dovey things and after we hung up on the phone we'd give little kisses and he'd always say, "I love you. Sleep with the angels". Our Flirt-O-Meter was off the charts and gradually it went from "I like him" to "I really like him", "I think I love him" to "I kinda sorta love him", and "I love him" to "I can't picture my life without him". I felt different. Love has a way of completely changing everything in your life. I was happier and his voice made any day a better day. Even though we loved each other he still wasn't someone I could call my own. I always felt that if I became his girlfriend than all the insecurities would set in. I'd worry about what he was doing or who he was with. That kind of commitment makes people so vulnerable, but even though I thought about all the bad things about being in a relationship with him, one good thing over powered them all. I would have someone to call my own. No more party of one, party of two please! I would have someone to confide in whole heartedly, a fortress of my very own. Finally, someone I could walk with in this dark and winding road.

I guess Roman must have felt the same way because on July 28, 2008 he asked me to be his girlfriend and I accepted without hesitation. It felt amazing! He was mine! All mine! No one else could have him. No one else could have me. I was taken, completely taken and Roman had no plans of returning me anywhere and especially to anyone.

(On the phone)

_ Roman: Wendy I have to see you. _

_ Wendy: I know baby. I want to be with you more than anything,_

_ Roman: I want to take you out. I want to walk down the street holding your hand. _

_Wendy: There's so much I wish to do with you. I mean yeah I wanna kiss you and all that. But what I want to do the most is just hold you. I want to hold you to the point that even when we pull apart I'll have your cologne all over me. Every night I hold my pillow and fall asleep thinking it's you. But I need you here._

_Roman: haha that's it. I'm going to save up and then I'll come to Cali to see you._

_Wendy: Really!_

_Roman: I'd do anything for you._

_(Gosh we're so corny. But love turns everyone into a cheese ball haha)_

By October Roman had saved enough money to come see me. He planned to be in California on the 10th and that would be our first date. Since I was going to see him anyway I finally webcammed with him:

_Aki has accepted your video call_

**Wendy: hey…**

_I smiled at him and waved._

**Aki: haha hey. Omg you look like a geisha.**

** Wendy: Hahah wth.**

_I couldn't stop smiling. Just knowing that he was looking at me made me blush insanely. _

**Aki: haha idk. I'm trippin'. I don't even know what to say. I've seen you in pictures but wow I'm just slobbering all over myself.**

** Wendy: Hahah omg shut up.**

** Aki: Look at you blushing. So cute.**

** Wendy: Hahah omg nuuuu!**

_I put my hand over my cheeks to hide myself and then I started pinching my cheeks making faces at him._

**Aki: Hahaha omg you have chubby cheeks! I love them. And your lips… I love you.**

** Wendy: Can't wait to see you!**

** Aki: You'll have a heart attack. You can't handle my devilishly good looks.**

** Wendy: Hahah whatever.**

We talked and talked. When it was time for me to go to sleep he called me and said, "I love you Wendy. See ya soon". The 10th of October landed on a Friday. It was currently Monday and I still hadn't told my father that I was going out on a date. I didn't even know if I was allowed to date or not! But I had other things to think about, like what am I going to wear? How will I do my hair? And most importantly what will I say when I see him for the first time? All sorts of questions ran through my mind and even though I was nervous I was mostly excited. I couldn't wait to see him. To finally touch him and say he's real, but not all things go as smoothly as planned…


	6. First Encounter

I had picked out everything I was to wear on our first date, nothing too fancy, but something edgy. Tight dark blue pants, my suicide silence shirt, my smooth black satin jacket, and my TUKs. Dark eyes, long lashes, and red lips. My hair was gonna be perfect and by perfect I mean dry, straight, pointy, and wild. Cause ya know, that's how us scene girls like to do it. I was so excited for Friday. I was a bit worried about how I would tell my father. Roman was two things he didn't like… Asian and Mexican. But I desperately wanted Friday to happen so I mustered up the courage to finally ask him on Thursday.

I had just finished washing the dishes and found myself lingering around. The first two tries I chickened out. I kept going out of my room sure that this time was the time I would ask, but it always ended the same, me getting a glass of water. My mother came into my room to give me my clothes and I pulled her aside.

"Mom, do you… think dad would let me go out on a date?"

"A que? Un date? What you have boyfriend?" My mother was looking at me in disbelief. I've never been the girly type. I bet she was thinking since when did I start caring about the opposite sex.

"No! Just a date. My friend asked me out and I kinda like him so I said yes. So do you think my dad would let me?" I was so nervous. Couldn't tell her he was my BOYFRIEND! Then I'd know it would be a definite no. Just telling my mom was making my heart race. I can't begin to imagine how I would feel having to tell my father. Probably have a damn near heart attack.

"I don't know. If he's you're boyfriend..."

"MOM HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! This isn't the 50's okay. People go out with their friends on dates. I mean jesus get with the times woman." Old people… ugh.

"Fine go ask him!"

"Nooooo you ask him." I was seriously scared. What would he say?

"No no no. Estas loca."

My mom left my room and went into the bathroom. So I was to face this alone huh? Thanks for nothing mom, just when I need you the most. I paced back and forth in my room for awhile when I decided that if I want my father to think I'm responsible enough to be alone with a guy then I better be mature enough to ask him myself. I left my room and went up to him.

"Hey dad…"

"What do ya want now?" He was doing a word search puzzle.

"Am I allowed to date?"

"Why?" He stopped what he was doing. His eyes steadily on me.

"Well cause someone asked me out and I didn't know if I was allowed." Oh god my heart is going to rip out of my chest.

"Yeah you're 18. You're old enough. What is he?" Noticed how my father doesn't bother to ask for his name or where I met him but rather his ethnicity? Ugh...

"He's half Chinese and half Mexican. You're two favorite things dad." Best way to get something out of my dad is to joke around with him.

"Yeah right. Haha. Mmmkay you have my permission." My father went back to burying his head into his puzzle book.

Are you serious? Did that just happen? I walked to my room slowly and when I shut the door I hurled my body onto my bed. I stared up at the ceiling in complete shock. Did I just pull that off? I was at a loss for words. All I could do was smile. Tomorrow was actually going to happen. I was going to see Roman. We would go to Knott's' Scary Farm and it was going to be the best day of my life!

Friday came along and I was almost done getting ready. I was expecting Roman to arrive around 6pm. It was currently 5:30pm. Roman texted me:

**Roman: Are you ready?**

**Wendy: Yeah. Can't wait to see you. (:**

**Roman: Wendy I'm so sorry. I should have told you earlier. I'm not coming. Sry I let it go this far…**

**Wendy: Hahah shut up.**

**Roman: No I'm serious… I didn't have enough to go to Cali. And I just didn't know how to tell you. **

**Wendy: Oh… it's okay. My fault for getting my hopes up I guess.**

I felt crushed. I actually began to tear up. But my make up? Blah who fucking cares. Not like he's coming anyway… Why would he do that? A few minutes later I got another text from him.

**Roman: Wendy…**

I didn't reply.

**Roman: OMG WENDY! Do you think I would actually do that to you? I'm sorry it was a mean joke. But I'm here. Open your door please.**

I felt bi-polar after realizing how quickly I went from despair to unimaginable excitement. Sure enough my mother came to my room and said "there's someone outside the door waiting for you". I checked myself in the mirror and added a final spray of hairspray. I was ready to go. I walked slowly down the hallway, went to the door and I saw him there. He looked so good in what he was wearing. I love plaid on a man. He turned to look at me and smiled. He was so beautiful. The person I waited so long to see was finally here at my door and I couldn't think of a single word of phrase to say. I was lost in all that was him.

But of course my father soon knocked me out of my dream state and he told me to ask him to come inside.

"Well come in stupid." I can't believe that's what I said my first time seeing him. If everyone wasn't watching me I would have totally face palmed myself. I really hope my father doesn't embarrass me. He went into straight daddy mode. First question he asked him was "Where do you live?" Of course the most natural answer for Roman was to say "Colorado". That's where the disaster began. My dad couldn't believe that I had met him online. That I would give him my number and address and worse of all that he had actually came here. He asked Roman about his parents and made the most asshole-ish "pfft yeah right" when he told him that his parents ceased to exist. I felt like my body was crumbling from the inside out. It hurt me so much that he could be so cruel to him. This is what I get for giving my dad too much credit. Too actually think he would understand, what was I thinking? But Roman didn't look offended or hurt at all. He just stared at him with the cutest most sarcastic smile I had ever seen. My father began to yell at me for being so stupid and naïve. I yelled back telling him that I'm old enough to know who I can or cannot trust. But of course, I will always be a little girl in the eyes of my parents. My dad made Roman write down his number and where he was staying while he was here in Cali. Regardless of all that happened I guess my father saw something in me. Maybe the slightest little plea to just let me be happy this one night… and he let me go. I couldn't have been more grateful. Roman and I ran out of my house wasting no time in leaving. We both didn't want my father to suddenly change his mind.

I met his best friend Vincent who had driven him here to Cali. Still to this day I can't help but be thankful for him. What a great friend? To drive him all the way here, helping him live out his dream. I always thought that no matter what happened Roman would always have Vincent. As long as that was true I knew I would never really have to worry for him cause he'd be in good hands.

We got into the car and I was so shy. I really didn't know what to say to him. I thought of ways I could start a conversation. Roman grabbed my hand and held it tight. My face turned hot and I knew I was blushing. I couldn't look at him for fear of spontaneously combusting. All I could do was look out the window and found from the reflection that he was doing the same. He squeezed my hand ever so slightly and I knew… all the want, all the butterflies, all the longing I was feeling… he was feeling it too.


	7. First Date

The plan was to go to Knott's Scary Farm, only problem was I didn't know where it was and of course neither did Roman. His friend Vincent who was driving us decided to go to the nearest gas station and ask leaving me completely alone with Roman in the car. I began to panic. I should say something right?

"So…" Roman said trying to break the awkward silence.

I didn't respond back for two reasons. First reason, I had forgotten how to conjugate words for a moment. Second reason, I was still a little upset about the whole 'oh I'm not coming' joke he did. Not funny.

I wanted to choke him, and so I did. I put my hand around his neck choking him as I said "I hate you". He was caught off guard.

"That's kinda hot", he laughed.

I began laughing. Laughing with him made me so happy he was here with me.

"I'm so glad you came here for me", I said in the tiniest bit of voice I could muster.

"I told you I'd do anything for you" he said. He pulled me in and wrapped his arms around me.

It felt so warm being in his arms. I wanted to just freeze there and immortalize the moment forever, but we had a date to get to. I called my friend Stephanie and asked her to look up the address. Once we got it Roman called Vincent and told him to come back. Vincent put it into his GPS and we were on our way.

In the car we were listening to this CD Roman and Vincent had bought in Chinatown. Roman began singing Bu De Bu Ai by Wilber Pan to me. Every time it would say "I love you" he would made a heart with his hands and wink at me. I couldn't stop smiling. My cheeks were beginning to hurt.

Roman and I were like little kids in the back seat.

"Babe you're hair looks nice" Roman said looking at me.

"It better! I spent quite some time on it" I responded checking myself in the mirror.

"Oh really?" Roman put his hands on my hair and began to ruffle it. I pushed him away immediately.

"What the hell! " I screamed trying to fix my hair again. Once I fixed it I pushed him, he pushed me back. Then I punched him softly, and he punched me back hard.

"Jerk, that hurt!" I yelled punching him back really hard one last time.

After that I turned away from him and looked out the window. What was his problem? I wasn't really mad but I wanted him to feel bad haha. After a minute of not talking I heard Roman say, "Okay Vincent, take us to the hotel. I'll tie her up".

"You do know I brought a knife just in case you tried anything" I said looking directly at him.

"You did? Seriously?" he asked bewildered.

I was just playing with him but he seemed to have really bought it.

"Shank him Wendy!" Vincent said laughing from the front seat.

"Where is it?" Roman asked patting down my pants.

"Why would I tell you?" I retorted.

"Fuck it. I'm moving to the front seat." Roman got up but I grabbed him.

"You should stay here where I can keep an eye on you. Besides if you sit in the front you won't see me when I choose to attack." I started laughing. This role playing was fun.

"You're bluffing!" Roman smiled.

"Am I? Am I really?" I looked at him dead serious in the eyes. Then I couldn't hold it anymore. I busted out laughing. "I'm just kidding silly! Hahaha I mean where would I hide it? These pants are super tight."

We both laughed for awhile and went back to holding hands. To this day… I think he still thinks I had a knife with me.

We finally arrived at Knott's Scary Farm. Vincent dropped us off and left. He had other engagements to attend to. The lines were long and messy. It looked like people were just cutting other people and no matter how long we stood there the line didn't seem to move. We were just there holding each other. Occasionally I would tippy toe to nuzzle his neck. He was tall. I only reached up to his shoulders. Roman and I were getting hungry so we decided to leave the line and go to IHOP. We could always come back and hopefully the lines would be shorter.

We sat right across each other at IHOP. Oh no… now I had to stare at him. At least when we were standing I could just bury my face against his chest. I hid myself behind the menu pretending to look for something to eat when in reality I was blushing profusely.

"Did you decide on anything yet?" he asked pulling my menu down.

"Yeah I'll have the chicken cesar salad with iced tea", I said quickly looking down at my fork.

When the waiter came he ordered for me. Now we were just sitting there… waiting… alone… waiting. Ugh, what do I say now? Roman reached out and grabbed both my hands.

"Hey look at me" he said softly.

I raised my head and looked at him, but I closed my eyes after two seconds. It was looking at the sun… beautiful but painful. My eyes couldn't take it.

"Haha you're so cute babe." He said still holding onto my hands.

We started playing games while we waiting and before we knew it our food had arrived. I looked more closely at my fork and it was dirty.

"Ewww look." I showed Roman.

"Here give it to me." He grabbed my fork and called the waiter.

She walked over to us with that 'what do you want now ' face.

"Can we get a different fork? This one is dirty." Roman asked.

"Yeah sure you want me to lick it clean for you?" she retorted.

"Yeah can you? That would be nice." He said sarcastically.

The waitress laughed and got us a new fork. Then we proceeded in talking about how rude she was. He ate his food faster that it had come. I was still working on my salad. He made fun of how slow I was eating and he said I looked like a turtle eating a piece of lettuce. We were laughing a lot while eating and when we both saw this old lady having trouble getting in one of the booths, we died. Yeah we were bad people.

When we were done eating Roman paid and we left. We didn't go straight back to Knott's. We walked around for awhile. It was dark and cold but I loved being with him. He told me about his trip here. How Vincent wouldn't let him drive and how they pigged out in the car. Hmmmm… that explains the giant mess Vincent was cleaning up when I first saw him.

I leaned up against a bench and Roman leaned up against me. He put his hands on my hips pulling me close to him. He was leaning in closer and closer. I looked into his eyes and then his lips. We were just about to kiss when a group of people walked by. Their loud voices broke into the moment.

Roman backed away and said, "Come on. Let's head back."

We went back to Knott's Scary Farm and the lines were shorter. He bought the tickets and we went in. We headed straight for the mazes. He kept telling me "Don't be scared okay", but I noticed he was the one holding onto me. When we went into The Grudge maze he actually got scared. I started laughing at him hysterically.

"Shut up. I jumped to protect you so YOU wouldn't get scared." He said trying to defend himself, but his reputation was already destroyed.

We went to many mazes. I think Roman's favorite maze was Vampire Club. It had good house/techno music playing and the girls were dressed all skimpy dancing and showing off their fangs. Pfft… perve.

We were reaching the end of the night. In the beginning my dad kept calling every hour, but once he heard I was having a good time he stopped calling. I told him I would be home at 1am, but it was already 12:30am and we really wanted to go on Ghostrider. I went against my better judgment.

The line was long but it was moving at a moderately fast pace. Roman was leaning up against the wooden wall of the barn. I'll just call it a barn because I don't know what else to call it. We were a couple of people away from actually being inside the building were the ride actually was. He kept looking at me not breaking his gaze. I smiled at him.

He pulled me in and kissed me. I was shocked. My mouth was open, tongues were everywhere and we just couldn't get the rhythm right. It felt sloppy and I bet it must have looked sloppy to the people standing beside us. That was a not a good first kiss and I think he thought so as well because he whispered in my ear, "Don't worry. We'll try again later".

As we were getting closer to the front of the line he would give me soft kisses on the lips. Gradually the kisses would get longer until we had the making out thing down. It was like kissing pillows. His lips were so big and soft. It was finally our turn to get on. They made sure we were strapped in nice and tight and we were off. The ride was so much fun and I'm glad Roman thought so too. When I asked him what time it was he reached for his phone but found nothing. He panicked.

"Omg do you think it fell off on the ride?" he asked.

We went back and asked the people working there if they had found a phone on one of the seats. They told him they didn't find anything but that he should go file a report just in case they do and they could send it to him. Roman and I went to the lost and found place and he filled out a form leaving his address in Colorado, his number and the model of his phone. I texted Vincent and told him he could pick us up now.

After I finished texting Vincent my dad called me. Oops I forgot to tell him I was staying a bit later.

"Hey dad." I said sounding cheery like nothing happened.

"You said you would be back at 1am. It's 2am now!"

"Yeah I'm gonna head back I'm just waiting for his friend to come pick us up." I responded.

I could tell my dad was drunk. He had been drinking with his friends. This was not good.

"No no no.. I'm going to go pick you up right now with your mother!" he yelled. He wasn't happy and I knew I wasn't getting my fairytale ending tonight.

Vincent had arrived before my parents did. Roman offered to stay until they came but my dad was drunk and I didn't want him to make a scene. I knew if he saw Roman again he would lose it.

"No it's okay. They'll be here any second". I said reassuring him it was okay to leave.

"Mmkay… I love you Wendy. See you tomorrow."

"I love you too Roman." We kissed for awhile and then he left.

Couple minutes after my parents came. My dad went crazy. He kept talking about how he was disappointed in me. That he couldn't believe his daughter was stupid enough to believe guys on the internet. He said some nasty things about me and some pretty nasty things about Roman. Worst of all, he said I was never allowed to see Roman again. I was getting angry. The things he was saying! Like I'm no one to him just some random person on the streets he could talk to anyway he wants. From that day I decided to never be fully honest with him. If I wanted something I would just lie to him to get my way. It would make my life easier. I was so mad I was beginning to cry. All these emotion dying to escape. When we got home I went straight to my room. I didn't want to hear his annoying voice anymore and I don't even want to think about what he was gossiping to his friends outside. I couldn't believe my mother… she should be here at a time like this. Telling me my dad was just a crazy nut and I shouldn't take to heart anything he says, but she didn't come to my aid. I knew no one would. I would have to make things happen all on my own.

It was Saturday morning and my dad was acting weird towards me. It looked like he felt guilty about how he reacted. Maybe his friends had talked some sense into him last night. My dad isn't one to say he's sorry but he tries to apologize with his actions. That morning he went out and bought me donuts. He also bought me new movies. As lovely as those things were, sorry daddy but it isn't good enough. Try again.

While I was doing my laundry my dad came up to me with an iced Cappuccino from Baskin Robbins. Not too bad dad, but you're not quite there yet. Try again please.

I was thinking of a plan. There was no way I wasn't seeing Roman today. He was leaving Monday morning so I only had two more days with him. I felt empty knowing I might not see him again. I called Bree.

(On the phone)

Bree: "My niggaahh"

Me: "Got anything planned today"

Bree: "Yeah imma go to a show. I'll be with Pedro. His friend's band is playing. Why what's up?"

(Hint: Pedro is this guy Bree was currently obsessing over)

I told Bree everything that had happened the night before, about Roman coming and my dad turning into Hitler.

Me: "I tried being honest with him and this is what I get! Now the honesty ship has sailed."

Bree: "HAHAHA! The honesty ship. Omg Wendy how sad! I'm so sorry. Cool, you guys are like forbidden lovers haha"

Me: "Hahaha well I want to see him today so can you help out?"

Bree: "How?"

Me: "Can I go to the show with you? Like that I could tell my dad I'll be with you but I'll invite Roman so I can see him today?

Bree: "Haha sneaky sneaky! I like it. Okay just tell me when you're ready and my dad will pick you up and take us there."

Me: "Mmkay. Text me the address!"

Bree: "Okay Byeeee!"

I finished folding my clothes and got dressed. My dad was outside trimming the tree.

"Hey dad can I go to a show with Bree? Her dad is taking us." I asked innocently. My dad and Bree's dad were very good friends.

"What kind of show?" he asked.

"Oh! Just a show. A band is gonna play music." I said.

"What kind of music?"

"My kinda music." I responded. Sheesh old man quit with the questions and let me go already.

"Hmmm… okay. You need money?" . He asked me while I was walking away smiling.

I turned around and grinned, "Yes I do dad."

My father gave me 50 dollars. Wow… out doing yourself huh? Ding ding ding we have a winner! I decided to forgive him after that generous offer. I texted Roman the address and he said he would meet me there.

I made it happen. I was seeing my love once more. And just like that… life was good again.


End file.
